the end of Mr.Hopeless Romantic

I don't feel like blogging.

I'm feeling miserable (again) right now and:

1. I have nobody to talk to

2. Nobody is online. Except few people from YM that added me (and later I found out that they are super duper boring. So, I appear permanently offline to them)
That's not evil, that's survival. I can't stand boring people. *yawn*

3. I'm trying to get over someone. No, i'm not feeling miserable because I have to get over him. The right sentence would be : I have to get over him so that I won't feel miserable again. ever. Loooooong story.

4. Now i realize that I have to renew myself. Get back on track. But it ain't that easy, buddy.

5. I also realize that I have to find a new hobby. apart from reading and sudoku. You, know, something that will help me socialize and get to know more people. Interesting people. Maybe Yaa and I should build a Futsal team. We have agreed on that the last time I SMS-ed her.Wanna join?

Ok, back to that guy. Hopefully this will be the last time I blog about him.

He is a nice guy. No doubt about that. A thoughtful one, too. But, the more I get to know him, the more I know that he isn't the one for me. We clicked together, the chemistry and compatibility are there but something else is missing. Trust.
I trust him.but sometimes I can't! You can't build a strong, serious relationship without trust. It was fun hanging out with him but I need more than just someone to hang around with. I feel like i'm lying to myself. Yes, I do love him. If I keep on going out or seeing him again, I'm afraid that it will hurt both of us later. Because I'm sure that this isn't love. This isn't me. This whole I-Love-You-You-Love-Me-But-We-Are-Not-Sure-Yet is complicated.

All I want is true happiness. Happiness depends on ourselves. I'm not going to be happy if I depend on him to be happy. And, If you are wondering whether you are in love or not then, you aren't. It's time to let go and move on. That's what i'm going to do. Letting go is hard though. But if you never try, you'll never know just what you're worth.

I'm currently listening to Jordin Sparks' second single "Tatoo".
This song says it all.

No matter what you say about love I keep coming back for more Keep my hand in the fire Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for

No matter what you say about life
I learn every time I bleed
That truth is a stranger
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free

To admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on
And leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize, nothing's broken
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back at a new direction
I loved you once, needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not about taking sides
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver
It hurt enough to think that I could

Stop, admit that I'm wrong
And then change my mind
Sorry but I gotta be strong
And leave you behind

If I live every moment
Won't change any moment
Still a part of me and you
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do

Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you

I really need to be strong.

my kakcik always said: "adik,ko tak boleh lupe dia ke?"

at first, I can't.but now, I have to.I have to because I wanna achieve something in my life and if I keep on thinking about him,I think I can't do it in a better way~


~our story:::T A M M A T:::~

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action"
~ Benjamin Disraeli

p/s:i dedicate "the nicest thing" by kate nash in my previous entry to him